While perfection is a myth, practicing anything will usually help you get better. It's commonly accepted that going to soccer or French practice will make you a better player or speaker, but it's rare for people to practice working with their emotions.

This is indeed something that takes practice.

With the seemingly-increasing amounts of aggression and bad behavior in the news, it seems like people know less and less about how to work respectfully or honorably with their emotions, or with the emotions of others. As this world becomes a panicky, take-what-you-can kind of place, being able to communicate clearly, from a grounded and boundaried place is not only a life skill, but it could be a life-saving skill. 

You have practice with everyday interactions, such as exchanging niceties in line at the grocery store, or with coworkers. You may feel confident about standing up for yourself with your friends or colleagues, or comfortable crying at home, or speaking your fears or doubts when considering a new course of action. 

But when emotions intensify or conflict arises, you may find yourself falling back on unconscious reactions rather than responding from your grounded, present self. You may feel panicky, and go into fight, flight, or freeze behavior that's inappropriate for the gravity of the situation. You may agree to something you don't want to do just to end the interaction. You might lash out in an attempt to protect yourself, or you might erupt into a waterfall of tears.

Have you ever found yourself doing any of these things?

Repressing, expressing, and channeling your emotions are all valid ways of working with your emotions, and each method has an appropriate time and place. For example, if you're at a funeral and feel like laughing, then repressing your laughter would probably be the appropriate thing to do. If you do choose to repress your emotions, then giving yourself the time and space to process them later is an empathic and emotion-honoring choice. 

What are the ways you've found to help you regulate your emotions in intense situations? Do you tend to repress, express, or channel your emotions when they arise? Where do you turn for support?

Some good sources of support can be journaling or drawing what you feel. Often getting what you're feeling down on paper can help you clarify what's really important and what you can release. Taking a walk outside or doing a movement practice can help you regulate your emotions and give you an emotional break. Moving your body physically moves your blood and lymph, and it can help you gain new perspective on your emotions. Talking to a friend, family member, or trusted colleague can help you feel less alone in what you're experiencing.

You could also practice. I'm offering an intensive 1-week course, designed to support you to learn to channel your emotions from within your grounded, boundaried self.

In this 1-week intensive course, you will practice channeling your anger, fear, sadness, and happiness using a variety of scenarios and experiential practices. You’ll begin by using scenarios that the instructor provides, to create familiar mental pathways for channeling your emotions, before using your own. You’ll also use two essential Empathic Mindfulness practices: Getting Grounded, and Defining Your Boundary to help you regulate what you’re feeling, and inform you of your emotions in the moment.

You’ll keep an emotion log throughout the week to help you increase your emotional awareness and make the connection between what you’re feeling and how you’re acting, so that you can bring this knowledge into your practice sessions.

Whatever you do, when you interact with others or with yourself in a conscious way, you’re practicing channeling your emotions. And that is what we need more of in this world right now.